LIfe and Adoption Update

In other news, Corona is good. I really miss my friends sometimes but I am grateful that Robert has a job. I have been looking into getting a part-time job while I finish my Masters classes but I haven't been successful yet. Unfortunately, with having to drive up to an hour away for classes and having the nights of the classes change every 9 weeks makes it hard to find a job; what I really need is a job that only requires me to work in the mornings and afternoons but not the nights...mmm well I will figure it out.

I am excited for next week because we will be going to our first Riverside adoption orientation meeting so we can start figuring out what will have to be done here in Riverside to get on the adoption list. I know that it will probably take another year before we are on the list but at least we will be doing something and that makes me feel much better.

Other than that school keeps me busy but I still choose to procrastinate, like normal. I like school be I am almost to the point were I feel like I need a break. I was planning on being done by this summer but the classes didn't align up so it looks like I might not get done until the end of this year! At this point I know I want to finish but keeping up that motivation is getting harder and harder. I am just not sure quite were I am taking my path in life is were I want to go. I really feel the urge to be a stay home mom but I have no children to stay home with? Does that make sense? I just feel a bit crazy and torn because I know that I wont even be on a list for children for at least a year and then it could take up to two year or more to receive a child, so the best thing for me is to finish my education but....

Oh, well. Isn't interesting how our lives turn out. I had always imagined that I would get married by 20 and have 5 children before 30. I ended up going on a mission and not getting married until I was 23, which turned out to be a blessing because the mission is were I found the man that I know was supposed to be my husband. I will be 32 this year and still no children(that is a story for another time), now I am hoping and praying for children before I turn 35.

I understand that the Lord has a plan for me but sometimes I wish I was able to see a peek of that plan. Sometimes, even though I know I trust the Lord I doubt myself because I am scared, afraid, lonely, sad, feeling forgotten, or just plain angry. I do understand that those are just ways that Satan tries to tear me down and pull me away from my Heavenly Father but at times it can be hard not to fall.

I guess what I am saying is that I don't know what the Lord has in store for my life but even with the bad times I am willing to trust in Him and His plan, whatever it may be.