New Adventures

So...Robert was laid off last week and it has been crazy ever since. At times I am so overwhelmed that I can't do anything thing at all and then there are times that I want to do so much all at once that I am running around like a chicken with it's head cut off. I think it is making Robert crazy.

Since the news was given to us on May 31 we decided to put in our 30 day notice to our landlord. We did that for a few reasons. Firstly, because any money we have we want to be able to spend it on our bills and if we have to move. Secondly, our rent is outrageous and we could move to a cheaper state and pay a third of what we are paying here and that would make our money last longer. Finally, what if Robert can't find a job here and we have to move anyways, which is very likely to happen, so now we already can  if we need to.

One small blessing is that I have been nannying every week for a family since May, it doesn't pay much but it is nice to have a little income coming in to help out with bills and gas.

Other than that, Robert has been putting in a tons of applications all over the U.S. and he has been networking up a storm trying to get any job leads he can. We are hopping to find a job either in San Diego or Utah but we are willing to go anywhere the Lord sees fit to send us.

Lots of prayers and love!

My Thesis Acknowledgements

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

I would like to thank all those people who made this capstone possible and an unforgettable experience for me.

First and foremost, I would like to thank my Heavenly Father and His Son, Jesus Christ for listening to and answering my prayers in my times of need. I know without a shadow of doubt without Their love and kindness I would have never had the strength on my own to accomplish getting my master’s degree.  

I would like to thank my Professor of Advanced Studies in Education, Suzanne Malia Kirkland, Ph.D., for her guidance, supervision and help throughout this project. I have learned a lot throughout this past semester. My endless thanks also goes to Program Director and Associate Professor, Graduate Physical Education, Cindy Tanis, Ph.D. who has been a shining light throughout my master’s program.

I will forever be thankful to my former college assistant professor, Professor Nicole Smith, Ph.D.  She was and remains my best role model for a mentor and physical education teacher.  I still think fondly of my time as an undergraduate student in her classes.  Nicole was one of the reasons why I decided to go on to pursue a career as a physical education teacher.  Her enthusiasm and love for teaching is contagious.  

I would like to thank my dear friends and colleagues, especially Tim and Charlotte McFarland, Jordan and Rebekah Helzer, Noel Sill, and many more without whom I would have never made it this far.

I would like to take this opportunity to express the profound gratitude from deep within my heart to my beloved parents, Marcia and Monte Evarts and my siblings and their families for their love and continuous support – both spiritually and materially.

Last but not the least, I want to express my eternal love and appreciation to my husband, Robert Edward Ingram, Jr. I truly married the best person out there for me.  Robert is the only person who can appreciate my quirkiness and sense of humor.  There are no words to convey how much I love him.  Robert has been a true and great supporter and has unconditionally loved me during my good and bad times.  He has been non-judgmental of me and instrumental in instilling confidence.  He has faith in me and my intellect even when I felt like digging hole and crawling into one because I didn’t have faith in myself.  These past several years have not been an easy ride, both academically and personally.  I truly thank Robert for sticking by my side, even when I was irritable and depressed.  I feel that we both learned a lot about life and strengthened our commitment and determination to each other and to live our life the way Our Father in Heaven would want us to.

Sleep, Pshhh Who Needs It?

When I started this little adventure of writing my thesis I though, no problem I will have plenty of time to do it, I won't every be stress, I got this. Ya right! I had totally fooled myself in to a false sense of security. This whole time I have been fervently trying to seem normal and not crazy while inside I was screaming AHHHHH I HAVE TO WRITE A THESIS!!!

Last night I finally turned in my last chapter, the discussion and conclusion chapter. WOO HOO!! The minute I hit the send button on my email I felt a giant weight being lifted off my shoulders and I actually felt giddy. It was so hard trying to stay in bed and sleep last night I just wanted to jump out of bed and run around the block screaming, I AM DONE!!! But I decided against it since my neighbors might not appreciate my enthusiasm. :)

I know this celebration is premature since I still have to do my final compiling and editing before turning the completed thesis into the university, but I figure a few tweaks is nothing compared to what i have already accomplished. 

haha, righhhht

I just want to say thanks to my husband, family and friends, who without them I would have never been able to get this far, so Thank You.

Dinner tonight is going to be so yummy!

It is a spin off of Crock Pot Chicken Taco Chili from the blog skinnytaste.com. 

I just used what I had on hand and add some of my own ingredients:

• 1 onion, chopped
• 1 garlic clove
• 2 bags of frozen pinto beans (about 15 oz in each bag)
• 1 8-oz can tomato sauce
• 10 oz  frozen corn kernels
• 2 14.5-oz cans diced tomatoes 
• 1 bag of frozen left over spicy smoked turkey from Thanksgiving
• 2 chipotle chili's with sauce (these add heat and a smoky flavor)
• cumin (about 2 tbsp)
• chili powder (about 2 tbsp)
• smoked paprika (about 2 tsp)
• pinch onion powder
• pinch garlic powder
• Salt to your taste

Put all ingredients into crock pot and cook on low for 6+ hours. 

I will be serving the chili with some green onions, shredded cheese, and sour cream to put on top.

Oh boy does the house smell amazing.

Speaking of babies...

I think because I have a few friends that just recently had babies they have been on my mind lately. So the other night I had a dream that I was in the hospital and the nurse had handed me my baby and I was in the process of having the baby latch on for their first time feeding. That was the whole dream, just that. For some, this type of dream may be a happy one but for me it was just cruel and mean, reminding me that I will never have the birthing experience or the experience to breast feed my own child. I am happy for my friends that get to experience this but that doesn't take away the pain I feel for that lost privilege of being a mother.


I was talking with someone the other day and they were telling me how there are benefits to not having children and the whole "take my children for a couple of days and you'll be glad that you don't have any." I understand what she was trying to say and she didn't mean any disrespect but the difference between me and her is that she had the CHOICE to have children and I didn't. I wanted to, no, I desired to have children but biologically I can't. I didn't choose that, that is just one of my trails in life.  Can the "benefits" of not having children really be seen as "benefits" if you didn't choose that path in life?

Even though I am excited about adoption and can't wait until we are able to bring home our own special child, I still grieve for the loss of being able to experience the creating a little child, carrying that child for 9 months, birthing that child, and breastfeeding that child. I am grateful for those friends of mine that are able to have babies and don't have to go through my struggle; I would never wish this upon anyone. But if you happen to see me tearing up when holding your baby or when I am attending your baby shower don't worry because I am happy for you. The best way to help me is to keep inviting me to baby showers, keep inviting me to hold your precious little babies, and keep letting me be apart of your family.

What's going on...

I recently was invited to a baby shower and this is the gift I made for her nursery. Her colors were green, white, and pink. I think it turned out pretty well.

I just recently had a birthday, I am now officially 32! Wow how time flies. I can't believe I am that old. I have been wanting a new dress for a while so for my birthday Robert bought me a dress. I absolutely love it. It is bright with tons of color, which I love, and it is super long so even when I put on my highest high heels it still touches the ground. I have I mentioned that I love it!!

This past weekend we went to San Diego to visit friends that are graduating and to see my friends new little baby. She is so cute and I got to change her diaper and hold her for quite a while considering both grandparents were there also. Isn't she precious! I just absolutely love babies and am so happy for my friends that are having babies.

Walking

This week so far has been great. Every morning Robert has gotten up and walked with me. They have been shorter walks then I would like but needless to say, we are walking. It is nice to spend time with my husband before he has to go to work. I am grateful that he is willing to get up earlier to walk with me. :)